Author Archives: Joan Alexander

The Shock of the Now iv Pareidolia; the tendency to perceive a specific, often meaningful image in a random or ambiguous visual pattern. I’ve always loved working with negative space, the area of absence naturally overlooked, the parts that can get cut out. Looking through the wake contact sheets he suddenly appeared in full lifeContinue reading “Negative Space”

Shock of Now iii; Trace ’The photograph is literally an emanation of the referent.  From a real body, which was there, proceed radiations which ultimately touch me, who am here; the duration of the transmission is insignificant’. Roland Barthes, Camera Lucida p80. The lines on his face, distinctive, deep lines for such a youthful looking man, aroundContinue reading “Death Mask”

Testaments i; The garden during his wake; the mountain where he died In the first full bloom of spring. Both beautiful, dear and familiar places I rushed to. Really rushed to by slow flight as slow shock descended. I was searching and recording as the wake settled into the house.  Building up a cache of filmsContinue reading “The Shock of Now i-ii”

This blog began as a way to document a body of work I’m developing with Belfast Exposed through an Artists career Enhancement scheme (ACES) grant from the Arts Council of Northern Ireland. Strengthening the way I work collaboratively was my reason to apply for the award. In particular I wanted to learn more about participatory practice. HowContinue reading “Shadow Dialling Studio”

Fore-bode/beforehand/gathering/make aware/correspondence. I lived with a foreboding, not the same as the ingrained familiar dread of losing him since discovering death and finitude as a child,  this was a new strong, deep and distracting  forebode….on and off since early 2018 but steadily gaining pace and momentum until it suddenly subsided 2 weeks before he died. I’dContinue reading “Fore-boding”

i) Scanned snapshots photos from 1980’s-90’s  “….A misunderstanding;  I thought I could describe a ‘state’; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow turns out to be not a state but a process. It needs not a map but a history”. CS Lewis; A Grief Observed, p47 It is a process, I agreed but I needed aContinue reading “Absent History i-ii”

Absent History iii; Expectancy Fragments of iPhone film footage during pregnancy 2016 Notes  for film; 14 Jan 2016; “Martha and Tommy’s  ear buds were opening the week that David Bowie died. The first music they heard was one of his tracks I think Ziggy Stardust or Life on Mars.” 12 April 2016; “Hand shake I-III;Continue reading “Absent History iii-iv”

Little did I know that this project, and in fact my whole practice, was primed to be about grief and mourning and the stupefying shock of absence. Suddenly and unexpectedly my Dad died while out on his motorbike. Throughout the unforgiving bafflement of his wake I photographed. The closing shutter satisfied the incessant mental searching. TheContinue reading “Dust to dust”